Why didn't I test out of this in high school?

As I sit through an Empirical World lecture on various topics I already learned about in my high school physics class (and watch as my friend Chelsea’s sanity slowly slips away), I begin to wonder when and how I screwed up in order to end up in this situation. On one hand, it is true that this isn’t the first redundant educational experience I’ve had. After all, I endured years of history classes in which the same segment of world history was covered year after year – the American Revolution, the American Civil War, the American Great Depression, the American World Wars and so forth. At least, that’s what it always felt like. So what makes this different?

I suppose the difference between the twelve-year-long history class I took in grade school and this rudimentary science course is that, had I been gifted with the necessary foresight and work ethic, I probably would’ve tested out of this and some of my other gen-ed classes after all. But alas, while I was certainly a capable student and a quick learner in the days of yore, I did not have the motivation which likely would have been necessary to pass my school’s Advanced Placement courses. The closest I came to this was taking honors English and Geometry courses, and I earned C’s in both of these classes. While such grades may not look that bad to many people, from my parents’ perspective a “C” is the equivalent to an “F-” trying to eat itself from the inside out and then vomiting halfway through the attempt. Even though it happens that Geometry is one of my academic blind spots, I had no good excuse to get a lower grade in an English class.

Getting to my point, it seems as if it’s entirely my fault that I’m stuck in the position I’m currently in. Due to my lack of motivation and drive during high school, I never put myself to a challenge that, looking back, I think I should’ve been able to take on. Perhaps if I was able to anticipate this future filled with classes which I could skip and ace anyway (though school rules permit this only to a certain extent in lower-division classes), I would’ve had the necessary incentive to buckle down and take some AP classes so I wouldn’t have to endure supposedly college-level courses – Empirical World, General Psychology and so forth. Since humans generally aren’t magical or gifted with psychic abilities, however, I guess we should instead make plans and be prepared specifically because we can’t see what lies ahead of us.

As usual, I intended to write another entry much sooner than I actually have. I’ll try to keep this blog a little more up-to-date than I have been so far, but so much depends on me feeling sufficiently inspired (or bored) enough to write.